Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second, time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever.
Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second, time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever. Love has its way in humiliating us.
It puts us down, pushes us into holes, rolls us in the dirt, and then stands tall looking at us from above with a grin. Love has its way in provoking us. It frustrates you and treats you inferior. It will do so so many things to you, mocking you, laughing in your face, and then ignore you like you never existed. Love has its way to lift you up. It shows you how despicable being down is. It gives you reasons to want to fight. It makes you wanna be stronger. It makes you wanna change. It makes you sacrifice and do things you never thought you would. If you don't sacrifice for love. Then you have never loved properly. So, I haven't blogging for quite some time and I've been MIA with all my social accounts lately and I feel so outdated. :( The past months had been a blast to me but I guess some things are never meant to last. Everyone i've ever gotten close to has hurt me. I should've known, right? The people you loved were the ones with the power to destroy you, to break you and shatter the very ground you stood on. You let them into your heart and that's where the most vulnerable . It sucks how much the people you love destroy you. Just when I thought i've managed to pick myself up, I'm being dragged down again. It's more like one step forward and a million steps back. And now I feel so lost. My thoughts were making me feel sick. There are so many things we know and so many things we feel and when the two don't add up we're so lost in making enemies of ourselves. So utterly disappointing when you defend someone for so long thinking they’re different and they turn out to be just like what everyone said.
Where do I go from here? My mom said, life goes on, whether I like it or not. Things got bad, and then got better. It was just another cycle of life. Oh, good God, I hope that this phase will be over soon. But who am I kidding? Moving on is a long, hard and confusing process. Like, how can you let go of the things that made you once feel like floating in the air? Perhaps, I just have to trust Him. When I think of all the stuff I've been through I have confidence I can get through this. I trust that God will take care of me. Even though, nothing is more painful than losing a loved one, we have to accept it no matter what because God has a better plan. Everything happens for a reason. That, I pray. At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone or something; that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It’s not like you’re giving up, and it’s not like you shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw the line between determination and desperation. What is truly yours will eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.
You don’t need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough. When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and you don’t have to internalize that. Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you — it’s something inherent. You exist, and therefore, you matter. You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. You’re allowed to assert your needs and take up space. You’re allowed to hold onto the truth that who you are is exactly enough. And you’re allowed to remove anyone from your life who makes you feel otherwise.
Sometimes we get caught up in the idea that we need to achieve certain things by a certain time of our lives. When we don’t, it’s easy to feel like a failure or beat yourself up for not being where you expected. Life isn’t always a straight line and often doesn’t end up exactly how you plan it to. Just because you aren’t at that “place” you thought you should be doesn’t mean you aren’t on track. Just because you didn’t attain the goal you envisioned doesn’t mean you are a failure. Sometimes it’s the detours that teach you the most and offer you your biggest growth. “They say you don’t get over someone until you find someone or something better. As humans, we don’t deal well with emptiness. Any empty space must be filled. Immediately. The pain of emptiness is too strong. It compels the victim to fill that place. A single moment with that empty spot causes excruciating pain. That’s why we run from distraction to distraction—and from attachment to attachment.”
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