I'm having this feeling that I want to be in love but I don't want to. So effin' confusing, I know. I'm so confused right now. Honestly, times like this I want someone who will put out with my sh.ts and dramas to be able to cheer up me when I'm down. BUT (there's always a 'BUT') I don't want to experience anymore what I'd experienced in the past. It's so horrible I tell you. It's been 3 months since I had experienced that. The pain that lingers everywhere that stings so badly. The endless crying. The dramas. The sadness and longing that I need to cope up throughout a day. It's really hard to deal with that kind of pain and I have no choice but to keep it myself because I don't want to tell to anyone what I'm experiencing for. I don't want to experience that anymore. I remember, there's this time that I really like this guy, I know so and I can feel that he likes me too, he's a nice guy and he's been through a lot. I really do 'like' him but I don't want to let him know, or even have a clue about it. So I focus myself to other things just to forget that feelings I have for him. I don't know why I'm like this, Maybe I'm too scared (as usual) to be hurt or to hurt him. I'm too scared to fall in love again but somehow I want to be in love---again. I'm so confused maybe someday there's no confusion problems that I needed to be resolve.
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