Dressed to the nines.

I know that there are times when you feel like you’re too much. Times when you wonder whether people would be better off without you in their lives. Times when you wonder whether you would be better off if you were someone different. Someone less intrusive. Less sensitive. Less vocal. Someone more acceptable. More tolerable. Someone easier. I understand that it’s so hard to drown out the voice telling you that there’s something wrong with who you are, but I need you to trust that you aren’t too much. I need you to trust that you deserve to be here. You don’t ever have to shrink or disappear for the sake of anyone else. You’re allowed to be immense and loud and open. You’re allowed to be unpalatable and unapologetic and uneasily defined. You’re allowed to use your voice and speak your truth. And more than anything, you’re allowed to take up space. Not despite who you are, but because of it. Because even though you might not always be able to see it, you have so many wonderful things to contribute to this world. Because you exist and therefore, you matter. Even when you’re struggling. Even when you’re difficult. Even when some people find you to be too much — you’re enough and you matter.

It is a time of awakening. Awakening to who you are, what you are meant to be, of friends and young love, of power and its use for good or evil. I’ve been wondering what it would feel like to be yourself but not, in terms of appearances, yourself. If it would be a mismatched clothing tragedy, or a fairytale story I lived to tell, that I cannot say. Though wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing to be aware that you’re somebody else you’re not, that you’re the “somebody” that you’ve become but cannot comprehend just yet? And to be able to guard your fragile self with a strong face of a stranger and pretend you weren’t hurt when you were, pretend you weren’t raising the white flag when all your choice was that and pretend that you’ve come back as someone they can’t hurt, wouldn’t it be such a wonderful thing? To be able to forget those memories you’ve always wanted to take off your mind, memories you’ve always wanted to replace with better ones but simply cannot make room, memories you’ve always wanted to come clean off, wouldn’t it be such a wonderful thing? To be able to mask your filthy name with one that you can build up again, with one that isn’t as dirty and with one that you’re able to actually wipe, wouldn’t it be such a wonderful thing? Wouldn’t it? Though life could be harsh and cruel still there's a beauty in life we should have to seek or perhaps wait for it to happen. God has a bigger plans. :)

And If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next, don’t be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path toward happiness; don’t waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes, because you’ll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart…where your hope lives. You’ll find your way again.

The Minimalist