Since I was a young girl, I knew I was never alone. I have my parents. My mom and my dad and for me that's enough.
I’ve always known that there is someone who will always hear my cries, my pleas and my sorrows. I knew that as long as I needed help, someone would swoop me down my feet, snatch me in their arms and tell me that it’s going to be okay, and indeed I'm lucky.
I’ve always felt safe. And now, I’m writing this to my one and only best friend, my companion, my teacher, my bank (lol), my guidance counselor, my nurse and most especially my mom who never fails to give me the love and care I've always needed.
First, I just want to say thank you. You are the person who taught me so much. You taught me that it’s okay if I make mistakes in school, that I don’t need to hide imperfect test papers, because you are still proud of me even if I didn’t get that perfect 10. You are the person who taught me that it’s okay to cry when Im hurting, that I dont need to resort to pretending. You also taught me to never lie, because it is wrong, and because you know me so well, you would know when I’m lying. Thank you so much for always being patient with me. Thank you for listening to my non sense stories. Thank you for comforting me when you knew I can't hold it anymore. Thank you so much for making me laugh with your jokes, for always reaching out when I'm feeling low. I always say that you’re so talkative but you always do make me laugh. Thank you so much for being there for me when I can't understand the world and when the world misunderstood me. Thank you for always getting mad at me when I’m being difficult, because it taught me that it’s never okay to make things bad for someone else just because things are going bad for me.Thank you so much for assessing my feelings, for explaining the situations that I refused to look at, for teaching me how to be selfless so others may live, to choose love even when I am in doubt and for constantly teaching me how to be a good person no matter how cruel and unfair this world is. I know I’m a lot of work. I know I’m a difficult child to rear. I'm moody you know that but thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for always being there to support me financially, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I couldn't ask for more.
Second, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the times that I disappointed you. I'm sorry for being a hard headed child. And I'm sorry for being such a baby. I'm sorry if I keep on waltzing in and out. I'm sorry if I can't be happy all the time. It will take a lot of time and courage for me to move on and finally grow up. I'm sorry that I'm still asking for your patience and understanding until this time. I'm sorry if sometimes or probably always I can't handle my own emotions. I'm sorry if I'm making you sad and upset but please believe that I don't want you upset. During my darkest days you're with me and made me realized that trials, obstacles, burden, problems are all part of our lives. I'm sorry for all the things that I forgot to tell you, the stupid things that I said, the inconsiderate actions that I did. Everything. I can't take them all back. All I can do is pray that at least the good things that I did to you outweighed the bad ones and that I did everything I ever could to show you how much I loved you and I will always do.
Lastly, I want to say that I love you. So much. Whenever I think about the future, I can't help but cry ‘cause I'm having this fear of the unknown. Last night, you told me things that made me cry and for me to get to see the bigger picture in life. I'm always praying so hard that you together with dad will be there when I get my first house, first real-person, first anything that I'm currently working now. I'm still hoping for the day when I can bring someone to meet you and gain your approval and of course dad's. (we always talk about things like this:p). Thank you for always saying that everything will be okay, that I can survive, that it's okay to cry and that you will always be here even if the world turns its back at me. I love you. And I will try my best to be the absolute best version of myself. You always say that you love me too much and someday you want me to be finally happy. I promise that I’ll fulfill that. Though Im not your sweetest and most affectionate child, I would like you to know that I really love you. And even if the world tells me that I can choose anyone to be my Mom, I will still choose you. For a thousand times over.
I know this post isn’t much, but I hope it is somehow enough to say how much I love you.
Happy Mother's Day mommy! I love you po forever. :) Kayo ni daddy. :)
Love Always and Forever,
Your baby.