In every smile, every tear and every cheer you were always there for me through the years supporting me and providing me everything i've needed in my life. I just want you and everyone to know that i'm so blessed to have such an amazing mom like you. Thank you for all the time and love you've invested in me and the sacrifices you've made for me. Thank you for supporting all my whims and caprices mom and I want you to know that someday, i'll be the one who will pamper you and dad. Thank you for being there when I'm being a crybaby and you don't judge me for it instead you'll hug me and say 'This too shall pass. You're a big girl and I know you can do it. I believe in you." There couldn't be a mother more wonderful than you. I wish you a very happy mother's mom from the bottom of my heart! Iloveyousomuch mommy!
So, I finished the first installment of Percy Jackson within a span of one week. How awesome was that? I feel kind of productive tbh. Haha. From the first book, Lightning Thief followed by The Sea of Monsters then The Titans Curse, The battle of Labyrinth then lastly the Last Olympian. Until now, I've been suffering from tremendous hangover. Thank you very much, Mr. Rick Riordan. Severe book hangover albeit looking forward to read the second installment. How I wish, Apollo will make a lot of exposures tho. He's so cool! Dang.
I know I’m a little too late for the whole Percy Jackson millennium but I love it. It’s about time somebody offered to give me this.. If I could just have all the money in the world to buy books then I wouldn’t have to be so lonely anymore. My parents are convinced that the books I have are enough for me which I might add, is a mere understatement. I know how to differentiate a want from a need but believe me when I say I need to buy books. It’s like food. Give it to me or I die. The little and big things that make me happy lately…
“Life is funny isn’t it? Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, just when you finally begin to plan something, get excited about something, and feel like you know what direction you’re heading in, the paths change,
the signs change, the wind blows the other way, north is suddenly south, and east is west, and you’re lost. It is so easy to lose your way, to lose direction. And that’s with following all the signposts” “It's funny because when you're a child, you believe you can be anything you want to be, go wherever you want to go. There's no limit to what you can dream. You expect the unexpected, you believe in magic, in fairy tales, and in possibilities. Then you grow older and that innocence is shattered and somewhere along the way the reality of life gets in the way and you're hit by the realization that you can't be all you wanted to be, you just might have to settle for a little bit less. Or perhaps a variation of what you once wanted. Why do we stop believing in ourselves? Why do we let facts and figures and anything but dreams rule our lives?” I collect quotes. If I come across a line in a book that moves me, or a quotation online that really speaks to me, I always write it down. I refer back to these quotes frequently. When I’m feeling lost or stuck in life, or just a little down on myself, it helps to read the comforting words of someone wiser than me. They reassure me about the direction I’m going in life, and help me realize that everything isn’t as bad as it may seem. I spent every waking hour to myself, trying to understand how and why I had gotten there. I had to know, because whatever it was, if I did not attend to it, this was going to be the end of the road for me. I knew it.
1. The dream job you never thought you’d quit. The person you didn’t think you’d leave. The plans you had for the future that never came to fruition because something else got in the way. Life ebbs and flows and to keep up with it we have to do the same. We have to forgive ourselves for having the self-awareness to change our minds about the really big things.
2. The ways in which you fought through pain The dark paths you shouldn’t have gone down. The crazy things you did in the name of coping that brought about more damage than good. The things you did to keep yourself alive when you didn’t know any better way. The way your survival instinct showed itself when you were too young or helpless to control it doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a stronger, fuller person for still being around. For having found your way back to life. 3. The person you could never love properly The person whose words body never fit right with yours, whose thoughts weren’t the ying to your yang, whose words never quite sounded right but whom you tried to love despite and because of it all. The person you tried to get it right with so hard that it felt like your heart was going to give up on beating, but who eventually had to let go. You cannot force love into existence. And letting it bloom somewhere else only makes us all freer in the end. 5. All the ways in which you are not enough The body you’ll never have, the knowledge you will never acquire, the courage you’ll never muster and the effort you’ll never put in. You may never be brave enough or smart enough or strong enough to suit someone else’s ideal but you are always going to be just perfectly you enough and the moment you realize how important that it, the sooner you can let the rest go. 6. The way you treated your parents when you were sixteen (Or twenty. Or thirty.) You were awful and infuriating and insufferable and now all of those days are behind you (Unless they’re not. If you are sixteen and reading this, please go hug your parents and tell them you love them). So perhaps we all grew a little sideways or backwards on the way to growing up and we said a couple things we didn’t mean. Life went on. We all grew from it. And it is never too late to say, “I’m sorry.” 7. The way you treated yourself most of your life Every flaw you picked apart inside the mirror. Every lie you told yourself about your limitations. Every “I am not good enough” thought that ever flitted through the recesses of your mind, settling into a place where it mattered. We have to forgive ourselves for not being our own best friends, our own confidants and our own biggest cheerleaders. We didn’t know what a difference it would make to love ourselves, until we finally did. 8. The useless degree you took in college The world is changing, quickly. Once upon a time there really were jobs for undergraduate Philosophy majors. We just don’t happen to live in that world anymore. But the cool thing about the world we do live in is that it’s getting smaller every day. We have less specific career paths when we graduate but more general opportunity. You’d be shocked at all the ways your “useless” major still comes in handy. You won’t end up where you expected but you may end up somewhere much better. 9. The breaks that you took from life The semester when life got you down. The year you spent living at home. The months that you wish you could wipe from your mind as times of self-loathing and fear. We all get overwhelmed sometimes. We all forget how to deal. We need these times to re-group, to reflect, to re-create ourselves and figure out where to go next. We are stronger for having gone through these breaks, despite what they felt like at the time. We figured out how to bounce back harder. 10. The chances you didn’t take The places you never travelled to. The experiences you didn’t have. The person you did not chase after when they decided to walk away. We have to unclasp our palms and let go of every alternate reality where we’re happier, stronger, brighter because of all the things we did differently. Those universes do not exist. But ours does. And it’s okay here, if we open our eyes up and let it be. 11. The things you didn’t say until it was too late The “I love yous” we let slide. The phone calls we didn’t pick up. The messages we forgot to pass on while we still had the chance to do so. We believe that our words and intentions could have changed things, so we use our words now. We don’t let our “I love yous” slide. We pick the phone up. And we forgive ourselves for all the times when we didn’t. 12. The disasters you didn’t see coming Every person you should not have trusted. Every fun night out that went wrong. Every choice that in retrospect should not have been made. Except we don’t live our lives in retrospect. We live them forward. And we don’t get the privilege of knowing if our choices will be right or wrong before we make them. We simply have to do the best we can, try the best we can and forgive ourselves whenever we are wrong. If we’re living life right we’re going to be wrong a whole lot. 13. Whatever you still are not ready for Every fear that is holding you back right now. Every leap of faith you haven’t yet made. Every story you’re telling yourself about where you ought to be by the age that you’re currently at. We’re all a little not ready for life. We’re all a little bit timid. We’re all a little bit gunshy and we’re all trying in whatever small ways we know how. Give yourself the time you need to grow. 'It’s going to happen, just not on the timeline you think it will.' 14. The mistakes you haven’t even made yet Because as much as we’d always like to believe that we’re eternally out of the woods now, we’re not. We’re going to screw up again. We’re going to fall down again. We’re going to make more huge, inconsolable mistakes that will diminish us. And thank God. The day we stop making mistakes is the day we stop living. We just have to give ourselves the room we need to make them. (c) Thought Catalog I haven’t been writing much lately. Be it through my wattpad site or in this site. I’ve felt emotionally bloated, stunted, like something’s on the tip of my fingers just waiting to be set free and I keep holding it back. I've had so much unwanted emotional baggage and I think what I’ve learned about writing for the internet is that I need to be “stronger” than I actually am or, at least, I need to give less fucks than I actually do. The problem is I actually give too many fucks. Sorry for the foul word tho.
So yea, even though I haven't been writing much lately, I've been reading too much lately. What's more awesome than that? One moment, I'm becoming a grammar savvy. That's clearly a sign of productivity aight? And here I am reading a tons of tweet about this certain girl who had issues blah blah blah. I think about how the netizens are being too critical of themselves, I wonder if I’m that critical. I am too critical, I decide. Anyway, enough about that just wanna say I feel sexy and I wouldn’t have to grow as a person. Because I am sexy. I wouldn’t have to heal my wounds or become self-aware or do anything productive ever. Because I.FEEL.SEXY. Ohh, forgot. Happy April Fools! Happy First Day of April! Thank You. <3 She lives outside the box. She sleeps under the stars that prickle with each and every dream and she wakes to the sun protruding her very skin. She streams against and with the rivers and she falls with the rain as it pitter-patters upon the town bathed in a wet blanket of tears. She sways with the wind as it shuffles past and she died with every plant that rots. She's the emblem of glow; the beam of every light. She's the rhythm of movement; the beat of every heart. She's the echo of sound; the intensity and longing of every scream and whisper.
She lives outside the box. She's imaginative. She crossed her boundaries and went over the lines by inches and miles and millimeters that are nothing to her now. She goes the extra mile and when there are no more miles to run, she creates her own. She goes past the ordinary. She is the extraordinary. She lives outside the box. As seasons change, and the clouds move past, and the leaves fall in a tender trace of movement, and time streams by and people die, she remain unchanged. She remains the same. Like she doesn’t exist; like a ghost that doesn’t age. Or so she thinks. She lives outside the box. And people don’t know this but it’s cold out. And lonely. No blankets. No fur coats. No tents or sleeping bags. Just herself and her imagination. And for what can it be put to use other than trying to imagine you’re in a different world? Sad to say, the cold was killing her. She lives outside the box. When she removed the ropes and the belts of the box she was confined in, the world was bigger and she was free to roam the depths and ups of the world she come to call a much beautiful version. But no matter where she looked, no matter how hard she looked, there was nobody else. Today is her 1003th day out in the cold, 1003th day of regret, 1003th day and she doesn’t think she can take another. She shivers with every feeling of remorse. She grows numb with every strike of pain. And to think that she could have easily opened the door when she could have, but she just had to be hard-headed. Bigger doesn’t mean better. Bigger means lonelier. She lives outside the box. But all she honestly wants is to go back inside. She is miserable. She's a child with an old woman's scars, the gentlest romanticist hiding within a shell of hard cynicism. http://www.wattpad.com/114563075-complexities-02-pinned-butterfly Love is not only blind, but a fool, a stumbling mess falling backwards through showroom doors into atmospheres unwelcoming of her presence. She is the unruly show-stopper, bringing the piano’s hook to an untimely end, groping in sultry salutation towards the nearest burlesque beauty, an untouchable object of obsession in the selfish eye of man, to which all occupants react with disapproving sneers and spiteful, sideways glances. They know better than to touch what they cannot have, but faced with such infatuation, she is but a child in a candy shop. Love is the fumbling mess who finds himself caught between a drop-dead-gorgeous match made in heaven, and a promise she made to her family, yet he seeks comfort in the concept of brief, brash contact, while Beauty seeks escape in the promises he makes under cover of dim moonlight and coffee-shop sound tracks; promises he would whole-heartedly keep if the situation called for such a thing... he wishes she knew. Love seeks to prevail when common sense is lost beneath the faint aroma of warm mint in the air she exhales over his smile, and he struggles to come to terms with the fact that Rationality and Reason play larger roles in her life than he ever could. Although her response is as seasonal as the green of the trees, he is content waiting for each and every Spring - the time spent alone in hiding - when they can forget the world and let butterflies multiply inside them, and let warmth spread throughout appendages to disregard a mid-winter’s bitter chill. Above all else, he will remain steadfast as trees do, through the harshest of Februarys as time is but a matter of context, where in his wasted heart will beat for her always. |
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